Tag Archives: lose-lose

Don’t forget to bring a towel!

27 May

The UM02 followed the wise advice of South Park’s Towelie last night for the final Voyageurs Cup game against the Vancouver Whitecaps, and all brought everything needed for the very first UM02 beach party held due to the lose-lose-lose situation that was last night’s game.

Win, and Toronto wins the Cup,

Lose, and Vancouver could potentially win the cup, denying TFC, while the Gulls finish last

Draw, and TFC wins the cup, Gulls in last place for the second straight year.

Now obviously looking at that presentation of the outcomes, a draw is the worst possible finish for everyone involved. So guess what the fates had the game end in? A draw, what a surprise…

From the onset of the match, it felt to me like a draw was the only possible outcome, and unfortunately that came true. But aside from the dismal performance of our Gulls, and yet another chapter written in Voyageurs Cup history, there were strange things afoot in section 114. As a compromise between those who felt we should do nothing at this game, and those who felt the club deserved our support, the idea of the UM02 beach party was conceived.

People eschewed the usual black and blue sported in the kop for brightly coloured, summery beach clothes, flags for inflatable sharks and crocodiles and waved their towels in the air. The usual impressive songs coming from 114 were replaced by laughter and sounds of people playing with water guns, beach balls and beach tennis. Some songs were converted to reflect the summery protest (“Bronze, bronze ultras”, “La plage”, “Vamos a la playa”, etc.). The original plan of hanging our towels on the front railing was quickly dashed when the blackshirts forced their removal “because the game is on tv”, and the kiddy pool certainly did not please the meatheads, but what’s life on the beach without a few bullies who love nothing more than kicking sand in peoples faces…

Sure, near the end of the game people grew tired with the boring play on the field and the realisation that TFC would be crowned champions, and the beach balls invaded the field of play(accidentally), no matter how many beefy, overzealous black-shirted security guards there were overseeing the fun.

In the end, we finished last and Toronto won. The one respite from the terrible result(That still had the Impact players celebrating after the game…)?

Heavy drinking.


Damned if we do…

26 May

As the ever astute Steve Beauregard says, no matter the outcome, Impact fans will leave Stade Saputo disappointed.

Disappointed because tomorrow(today actually) is pretty close to the mythical “lose-lose situation” I’ve been told exists.

If Montreal beats our westerly brothers from Vancouver, we get at least one mark in the “W” column of the Voyageurs Cup standings. Yay! But were that to happen, that would also give the V cup to our p’tit frères from Toronto, who will no doubt once again proudly carry the Canadian flag well past the group stage of the Champions League, as was the case last year…

If we lose to our lovably polite and well mannered friends in Vancouver, we’re destined to finish yet another cup in last place, which as a fan of the Gulls, I am quite unused to. But were that to happen, those ever so bland Vancouverites would be able to push the tournament to the 24th hour, taking the fight to BMO and their legions of better-check-my-blackberry-while-flares-are-going-off stockbroker fans, where they traditionally play above expectations. Making it so that the cup is once again decided, as it should be, with the final game of the tournament is not only a positive for every Voyageur, seeing that the competition is indeed capable of meaningful finishes, as well as pleasing those outside of Toronto, in the hopes that Vancouver does their usual anti-red display and do what needs to be done to prevent Toronto from hoisting the cup once more.

The fact that, essentially, the club is playing yet another useless match has left Montreal in quite an odd state. Fans have been noted online as saying they wouldn’t mind another C-team rollover a-la 2009, due to the fact it can possibly keep the red scum from the cup. Others hope to trounce the Caps, Toronto be damned, whatever it takes.

The fact that no consensus on how to handle the situation has been established as of 0400 this morning leads me to believe that, if any of you dear readers are the type to see what the stadium atmosphere is like, buy a ticket, or tune in to (sigh) Sportsnet, tonight to see what is guaranteed to be a strange, strange spectacle off the field.

I for one, will be in the stands, more confused than a sailor on shore(Newfieism) about what to hope for out of my Gulls.

Though, setting my patented Voyageurs brand pessimism aside for a second and presenting a thought that just happened to fly through my beautiful face, a fan of IMFC could also theoretically leave the stadium happy at any outcome of the game, as for our situation to be lose-lose, it must also be win-win(kinda).

Except a draw…Shit.

Here’s hoping the CSA properly handles the upcoming arrival of the enigmatic Edmontonians in 2011. The longshot hope I have for this match is going up the steps to CXIV, and seeing my beautiful Carlsberg beer girl accompany me to the party that will be 114.